<3

Is it a tragedy if you are just a fool?

2009-09-13T00:55:00.002-04:00

And here I am. Back in Mount Vernon.

That isn't the point of this blog though.

I feel like I'm constantly the one blamed for things. It's kind of not okay.

I feel alone here, there, and everywhere.

I'm lost.

Save me, someone?

Black Keys.

2009-03-26T15:20:00.002-04:00

Using ONLY SONG TITLES from ONE artist, cleverly answer these questions:

Pick a band/artist: The Black Keys

1. Are you a male or female:
Girl is On My Mind.

2. Describe yourself:
All You Ever Wanted.

3. How do you feel about yourself:

Things Ain't Like They Used to Be.

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
Just Couldn't Tie Me Down.

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation:
Strange Desire.

6. Describe your current location:
Strange Times.

7. Describe where you want to be:
Oceans and Streams.

8. Your best friend is:

Psychotic Girl.

9. Your favorite color is:
Aeroplane Blues.

10. You know that:
You're the One.

11. What's the weather like:
Just a Little Heat.

12. If your life was a television show what would it be like:
Modern Times.

13. What is life to you:
Same Old Thing.

14. What is the best advice you have to give:
Act Nice and Gentle.

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to:
Stack Shot Billy.

Heads up.

2009-02-27T21:10:00.001-05:00

Just a heads up, I'm starting a weight loss/diet vlog in a few days.

I'll be posting the videos on here : ].

You've never asked.

2009-02-24T16:09:00.004-05:00

If you took 10 seconds, just 10, to evaluate the situation going on here you'd realize that we are so much alike.

You don't care enough about me to do that.

I can play some guitar, and I have a beautiful singing voice. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

I'm originally from West Virginia. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

My parents aren't divorced, and I have two older brothers. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

I play video games. Bioshock is probably my favorite. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

Fall and Spring are my favorite seasons because it's an in between time when I can watch things change. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

My favorite colors are orange and deep purple. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

I can't ever pick anything up that's at the top of a stack. I'm OCD about that. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

It's hard for me to trust people. Especially boys. Did you know that? No. You've never asked.

...But you should have.

I'm just an object to you.

Well, fuck that and fuck you.

I'm done.

Update..

2009-02-16T15:25:00.004-05:00

I figure that I should probably update this about once a week, so that people will keep reading.

Anyway.

I now have a Twitter account. Why do I have a Twitter account? I'm not sure really. It's like acceptable stalking. Even more acceptable than the facebook/myspace things. If you want to follow me its www.twitter.com/hollaitskayla.

Also, the "B" key on my keyboard is broken. So if you see anything that looks like this "bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bb bbbbb" that's just me trying to pop the key back on. Pay no attention to it.

Lindsay is coming home with me this weekend. I'm pretty pumped about that. I just hope after she sees my hometown she still wants to be friends c[ :

I'm also dying my hair this weekend. Dark brown/Red. I'm just ready for a change. Plus, I had a really weird dream in which I had that hair color, and I enjoyed it, so why not?

Oh, in hilarious news, on Valentine's Day I got a cookie cake from MVNU that said "Happy Birthday, Kayla" on it. Mind you, my birthday is in March. My father was trying to get me a Valentine's Day present like always and they effed it up, as they do other things. Way to go MVNU. It was pretty hilarious, though. I mean, I laughed out loud for a good 10 minutes, then called the bouf..and she did the same.

Oh, and I bought the first season of Doug on DVD, which is pretty BA if I do say so myself : ].

There ain't no reason things are this way.

2009-02-08T22:58:00.008-05:00

I thought I'd give a little update on things, since I haven't in awhile.

I saw Coraline in 3D this weekend. It was amazing. I'd never seen a 3D movie before, so it was quite the experience.

I really liked the story-line, especially toward the end of the movie. I'm just going to quote Kayla in saying that it was "one big Burton-esque eyegasm."

Spring semester's classes have started. I will have no life. Lord.

I have new neon earrings/bracelets. They were only supposed to be for one night, but they're fun...so I'll be wearing them quite often.

I've realized that I can't please everyone, seriously. Also, I've realized that people really are hot and cold with their emotions. It's like seriously, if you don't like me...then don't like me, but don't act like you do sometimes.

Here's my favorite PostSecret from today :D.

PostSecret Sunday :].

2009-01-25T01:40:00.003-05:00

These sound a tad bit like my life.

Anyway, enjoy.

Every move is a mistake.

2009-01-21T15:41:00.002-05:00

Alright, so, update.

...I'm not going to Oregon anymore. Some stuff came up, and we're just not going to be able to make the trip.

It sucks, but I'm more okay with it than I thought I would be.

Also.

I want to fall in love with an amazing guy. And I want him to love me back. But that's probably too much to ask.

I feel like I might be destined to be alone.

PostSecret Sunday :].

2009-01-18T13:24:00.004-05:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

BLIZZARD!!!!!1!!11!!

2009-01-15T15:30:00.004-05:00

Okay, so maybe it's not a blizzard.

It IS more snow than I've seen in a long time though.

PostSecret Sunday :].

2009-01-11T13:14:00.006-05:00

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

By giving in what am I giving up? Am I losing way too much?

2009-01-06T21:55:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd give an update of some sort of substance.

I've been kind of whiney lately. Oh wheh.

- I'm back at school. I can only say how much I miss freedom after I come back here. Sitting here with my Gatorade and watching House I'm feeling pretty free. No one's breathing down my neck. Hell, I could be out all hours of the night and no one would care. That's a damn good feel. Seriously. I do miss that other one though.

- My roommate is not here, and won't be for the rest of J-term. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I miss Amy, of course, but I like having a room to myself. I'm kind of a loner anyway, so I mean I guess it's alright. It's not like I'm going to die of loneliness, I'm used to being by myself.

- I was talking to someone the other day and they told me that someone had described a friend as being "so beautiful that it broke their heart." I want someone to say that about me. I want to be heartbreakingly beautiful to someone. I guess he'll come along.

- I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, but I am starting to work out on a regular basis. I figure that's a good thing for all of us. I think New Year's resolutions are kind of stupid. People constantly make them and never keep them, so I just decided to live my life. There's no reason why it should be any different.

- I'm going to Oregon in about 2 months. I guess I'm trying to make my life different in some way. I'm changing things so that I can have a better life. How many people take spontaneous trips to Oregon? It's a beautiful thing. This is one of the only times that I'm very accepting of the change happening in my life.

- Speaking of change, my taste in music has changed drastically. It has gotten much, much better. Kayla and I are going to see The Black Keys at the end of this month. It's going to be so BA.

Substance!

Wheh.

2009-01-05T22:22:00.000-05:00

I'm lonely.

...And I'm sick of waiting.

It's Christmas...

2008-12-24T13:47:00.002-05:00

And I'm feeling pretty alone.

I know there's someone out there for me, though.

And I'm even pretty sure that I know who that someone is.

I just have to wait...

be patient...which I'm not good at.

3 months.

2008-12-15T23:42:00.005-05:00

Pick your favorite movies.
-Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
-Bold it out when someone guesses correctly.
-Put who guessed it and the movie.

One.

"How do we seem to you? Do you find us beautiful? Magical? Our pale skin, our fierce eyes? Drink you ask me, do you have any idea of the thing you will become?

Movie :

By :

Two.

"What are you looking at?"

"Stealing your life away. You went down 30 years ago pal, you just don't know it yet."

Movie :

By :

Three.

"And you're ready, right now?"

"Yes."

"...Is it not enough, to just live a long and happy life with me?"

"Yeah. For now."

Movie : Twilight

By : Tori

Four.

"And since I am dead, I can take off my head, and recite Shakespearean quotation."

Movie :

By :

Five.

"Every morning I still wake up and the first thing that I want to do is see your face."

Movie :

By :

Six.

"Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it."

"It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it. Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying. Say the first thing again."

Movie :

By :

Seven.

"In one week I can put a bug so far up her ass, she don't know whether to shit or wind her wristwatch."

Movie :

By :

Eight.

"When my father was killed, my brother and I were branded, so that everyone would know that we were less than human. I've said and done things I'm not proud of, but sooner or later you realize that killing is a business. So when did killing become a business for you?"

"Oh no. It's so much more than that. I have discovered the Holy Grail of science. In two years, I can cure children's leukemia. How many people on Earth can say that?"

"I guess just you and God."

Movie :

By :

Nine.

"You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards, it did. If he weren't up there now, I don't think it would be snowing. Sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it."

Movie :

By :

Ten.

"Do you swear?"
"Every damn day."

Movie :
By :

Eleven.

"I swore 37 times last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is douche bag a curse?"
"I suppose it would depend on its usage."
"How about 'John, you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara'?"
"It's a curse."
"Oh, well then it's not 37 times, it's 71."

Movie : Signs
By : Kayla

Twelve.

"I wish you'd all just shut up. Cause if it's gonna be like this, I ain't learning nothing."
"Girl, your English is f*cking atrocious."

Movie : A Love Song for Bobby Long
By : Kayla

Have at it.

So, I'm just going to step aside

2008-12-10T12:37:00.003-05:00

...and let everything I've ever really wanted fall completely into place. Sound good? Alright :].

This is all so crazy and wonderful :D.

In other news, it's finals week. I kind of have a final in 20 minutes, actually.

I think my body is slowing shutting down. Really.

It's basically just in survival mode at this point.

I haven't eaten a real meal in about 3 days, and I'm probably running on about 4ish hours of sleep spread across 3 days.

Woot. I think I might be dying.

I was sitting in class taking a final at 8 this morning and my heart was beating so irregularly and fast. It was kind of nuts. Also, I constantly shake now. Weird.

I think it's just because so much awesomeness and so much stress has happened this week. It's basically too much for my body to handle.

Oh, and if you have a spare minute, listen to these songs...seriously. They're getting me through this week.

Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon

Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

Closer - Kings of Leon

Just Couldn't Tie Me Down - The Black Keys

The Lengths - The Black Keys

Listen to basically anything by those two bands. Seriously. They're both effing excellent.

So, it's 3 a.m.

2008-12-08T03:33:00.000-05:00

And I'm awake.

Not studying for finals, as you might think, but thinking.

Oregon is happening. In like 3ish/4 months.

As I type this my hands are shaking. I'm so scared, yet so fully excited at the same time.

I'm totally aware of the fact that I'm meant to do this. For some reason, and what reason that is at this point I'm not sure, I'm supposed to go to Oregon.

...That's kind of a lie, I know what the reason is.

At least, I know what my intentions are, and I know what brought me there in the first place.

I just hope that somehow, someway he finds me there. Or we find each other, I suppose.

I won't give up on you, I promise.

Edit: Midnight. Tuesday, December 9th.

More things are falling into place.

I can't believe that all of this is really happening :].

Wow :D.

So, let's just talk about how

2008-12-06T22:16:00.000-05:00

I'm really and truly going to Oregon.

It's basically a done deal at this point.

Mmmface. 4 months.

"Where luck and fate cross paths..."

2008-12-04T12:44:00.001-05:00

Could that be any more perfect?

Wow.

I'll meet you there. In four months.

Discoveries.

2008-12-01T15:34:00.000-05:00

I think I discovered a lot of things yesterday during the long drive from Ravenswood to Mount Vernon.

I discovered that I'm basically in love with Kings of Leon.

I discovered that there's nothing more fun than blasting music, eating s'mores, and decorating a Christmas tree :].

I discovered that I really am supposed to go where I'm going, and I discovered the only person I would ever think to take with me.

I discovered that this all isn't just a coincidence :].

I discovered pepper, dinner rolls, and Oregon.

...and I've never been more happy :].

And everything falls...

2008-11-26T16:25:00.000-05:00

...into place? This is kind of unheard of. Nothing ever falls completely into place like this.

We are so meant to be it's kind of ridiculous :].

Direction.

2008-11-17T11:17:00.000-05:00

I finally feel like I know what I'm supposed to do, and it feels wonderful.

The only thing is..what I'm supposed to do is going to have a lot of ramifications. A lot of them. I mean, I might break someone's heart, have to leave school [or at least the country], and my own heart might break...but I have to do it.
Putting your heart on the line is something that you're never really prepared for. I'm not only doing that, I'm kind of putting it in someone else's hands. That's even scarier.

I'm supposed to go to Oregon. I'm supposed to do this.

Ugh, I wish I wasn't so scared.

And it's been awhile..

2008-09-20T13:44:00.000-04:00

I just thought that I'd give a well deserved update on my life.

I'm at MVNU, and I really do like it here. My roommate, Selah, is pretty fun :]. The only problem with her is that she's always at her boyfriend's house, but oh well. I've made a lot of friends on my floor, so I'm happy about that. Also, I gained back a friendship that I thought was lost forever. It meant a lot to me that this person heard what I had to say, finally :].
One of the biggest things that has happened since I've come here is Twilight. I decided that I'd probably want to read them someday, so I bought the first one before I came here. I was bored on a Sunday and just picked up it...and never put it down. I finished all four books within the span of a week, taking just a day to read all the way through each one. I have to say, I am in love with Edward Cullen. I know that sounds stupid, but I am seriously in love with him. My heart aches for him. It's the weirdest feeling I've ever had for a fictional character. Anyway, I'm glad the movie is coming out soon so I can just put it in my DVD player and watch it all the time :]. Then I can have my fill of Edward whenever I want him c[ :

Okay, so update: I am not in love with Edward Cullen c[ :
That book is way too powerful. I am in love with someone though, and it is sort of random, and I'm going to Oregon.

Anyway, enough of that. So, I've been here for almost a month, and I get to go home next Friday. Actually, the first day we can go home is this Sunday, but I thought that was stupid. Why would I drive 2 1/2 hours home on a Sunday? Who knows. I've already been home once, but that was because of the power outage we had here. Haha, Mount Vernon actually had a hurricane. I thought that was pretty hilarious. Anyway, we were out of power for awhile, so I went home. I wasn't even there for 24 hours though, so that kind of sucked. I'm pretty excited to go home this weekend and see my friends :]. I get to see Lindsey, which I am REALLY excited about :].

So that's the update on my life :].

5 days.

2008-08-25T00:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I have 5 days left till Ieave for MVNU.

And I'm scared to death. For a lot of reasons. One reason is that I just don't know how self-sufficient I can be. I do a lot of things myself, but my Mom also does a lot of things for me. Who knows how that whole situation will turn out?

Another reason that I'm afraid is the people. I'm afraid that I won't be able to make friends because the friends I did have that go there hate me now. I wish I could put all that stuff behind me, but I can't. It's really hard to go somewhere knowing that some people on campus already really don't like you. Isn't college supposed to be about starting over? I don't know, it just freaks me out that when I get there I'll already be getting weird looks from people. Oh well, I guess you can't please everyone in your life, I just wish I could have some of those friendships back. I'm not really afraid of the academic part of things, that I'm actually really good at. I'm also pretty social, so I shouldn't have a problem making new friends, which is good. My roommate, Selah, seems really nice and I'm so incredibly happy about that.

Today I started packing and it put a lot of things into perspective. I'm actually leaving. I hope things turn out good :].

On another note, I got my tattoo touched up and added more stars to it. It really looks a lot better. I think I just went to the wrong place the first time I got it done because I went to a different place this time. The guy told me he'd been tattooing for 25 years and that I needed my ENTIRE tattoo redone. It was probably one of the most painful things that I've went through in awhile. Just imagine cutting yourself and then like a month later dragging a knife across the same spot.

Srsly. It hurt.

So it's finally beginning

2008-08-11T14:00:00.001-04:00

So it is finally happening. Even though it's always been a reality I never thought this day would come.
We're all starting to leave, and it's surreal. Teagan left on Friday, that was really hard. Lindsey is leaving in less than 2 weeks. It's just weird that all the people that I've grown up with are going separate ways. I leave in 18 days..that's crazy.

I finally talked to my roommate, and she's really nice. I think I'm going to like her. We have a lot in common, which I was really worried about.

It's just weird that we're all going separate ways..

People are Ridiculous

2008-07-31T17:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I need to get a few things off my chest...

Some stuff has been happening that's really really getting on my nerves.

First of all, I need to say, if you think that I've done something to you or someone says that I've said something about you PLEASE come and ask me about it. I will tell you the truth about whatever it is. This has been happening to me a lot over the past month, most recently today. I just hate the fact that friendships are torn apart by this childish stuff. I also hate the fact that people are getting their information about me from other people, and then not taking it to the source and asking me about it.

I'm just really hurt by it all.

Got it from the other Kayla : ].

2008-07-26T20:24:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I thought this was cute, so I stole it : ].

The things that I've done are bold and italicized.

The things that I'd like to do have * beside them : ].

Bought everyone in the bar a drink
*Swam with wild dolphins
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
*Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Taken a candle lit bath
Said I love you and meant it
Hugged a tree
*Bungee jumped
*Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
*Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game
*Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
*Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Held a lamb
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a rollercoaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool, not caring who watched
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Actually felt happy about your life, even for a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
*Visited all 50 states
Taken care of someone who was too drunk
Had amazing friends
*Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
*Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
*Hitchhiked in Europe
*Taken a road-trip
Gone rock climbing
*Midnight walk on the beach
*Gone sky diving
*Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer than you were in love
Sat at a stranger’s table in a restaurant and ate with them
*Visited Japan
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your CDs
Pretended to be a superhero
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Posed nude in front of strangers
*Gone scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
*Visited the Great Wall of China
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
*Toured ancient sites
*Taken a martial arts class
Played a computer game for more than 6 hours straight
*Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
*Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news program as an “expert”
Got flowers for no reason
Performed on a stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Had a one-night stand
*Gone to Thailand
*Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
*Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
*Performed in Rocky Horror
Raised children
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
*Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Picked up and moved to another city
*Walked on the Golden Gate Bridge
Sang loudly in the car and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 lbs
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Petted a stingray
Broken someone’s heart
Helped an animal give birth
Won money on a TV game show
Broken a bone
*Gone on an African safari
Had a body part below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol
Eaten mushrooms gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept for more than 30 hours over 48 consecutive hours
*Visited more foreign countries than US states
*Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
*Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the paper
Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
Gone back to school
*Parasailed
Petted a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read the Illiad
Selected one important author who you missed school to read
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Skipped all of your school reunions
Communicated with someone without sharing a common language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
*Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
Had to put someone you love in hospice care
Build your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone that didn’t know it was yours
Had a booth in a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Shaved your head
Caused a car accident

Chipmunk Cheeks.

2008-04-26T19:24:00.000-04:00

So, I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday, and I'm kind of surprised at how okay it was. I mean I'm definitely still on the pain medication, in fact I get to take one in about 34 minutes : ]. I'm thoroughly excited because my bottom teeth are starting to throb c[ :

Teagan got hers out as well, and she's doing fine I guess. She went to Marietta today, I'm not even that okay : ]. Lindsey came to visit me yesterday and I really appreciated that : ].

You have no idea how much you think about food when you can't eat a lot c[ :! I want a lot of crunchy things that I can't have!! Haha, I hope that me and some girlfriends can go to Cozumel next weekend and get some good, crunchy, salty tortilla chips..and some fabulous fajitas : ].

Yeah, I'm pretty hungry these days, cause I can only eat soft foods : [.

Well anyway, just a quick update while I lay in my bed and rest : ].

Chipmunk Cheeks ; ]

I don't usually do this.

2008-04-08T07:43:00.000-04:00

So I don't usually blog about anything, but I figured it might be a good idea to start.
I'm graduating in a month. A MONTH. I really never thought that the day would come that I would walk across the stage and graduate. It's like 12 years of school have lead up to this. It's really just now starting to hit me that I won't be here next year.
School is just becoming a thing that I totally dread. I have senioritis so bad. Actually, as I type this, I'm missing my first period class.
That's another thing, college stuff is getting stressful. The financial part of it is becoming ridiculous. When I filled out my FAFSA, I put in the wrong school code for MVNU. How? I don't even know.
I filed it in January, but I just fixed it..so go figure, It's getting in past the priority deadline. We'll just have to see what happens.

Prom stuff is stressful right now as well. I mean I already have my dress which is absolutely gorgeous in my opinion : ]. Stephen's flying in, and that's not even definite right now. There's flowers, hair, nails, dinner. I just want it to get here. It's in just about 2 weeks, which is early, but it should be fun.

Well anyways, I'm going to go to school, where I should be right now.
I'll probably post tomorrow.

Till then,
Kayla : ]